Filed under: JUNKe life
Reading about consumption (i.e. mindless consumption – that is to say, the prime drive of the corporate citizen) got me pondering my own consumption. I’ve always been interested in, and critical of, consumption. The consumption of consumer societies which corportations feast upon so greedily.
I wouldn’t call myself a consumer. I don’t run out an purchase the latest technological gadget, this year’s model, or feel driven to display myself in the latest fashion. I have always been appauled
by the mindless consumption of modern consumer society. Destroying the ecology for self-agrandization and profit.
However, there is one way I do consume. And in doing so, I exemplify the motto “Consume ’till ya drop!”. I consume dope. Dope, dope, dope, and more dope.
Ever consuming, I have no intention of stopping. My only tether is my awareness that its possible to run out of money or run out of source (dealers get busted) and find myself without an endless supply to consume.
With that in mind, I turn my mind to my reserves. I try to ensure that my reserves will be enough to see me through a period of draught, or even taper me right off, in proportion to the volume of my daily habit. Thus if I’m consuming 1000mgs of morphine daily, I guesstimate a need for a week’s worth at 800mgs daily, another week at 600mgs, etc. etc. in ever reduced amounts yet sufficient amounts to ensure that I will not experience the discomforts of dreaded withdrawal sickness.
Feeling confident in my reserves, I can consume, consume, consume – both dope and all my worldly possessions in the process. For I have no need of worldly possessions. My possessions are mere excess which I have no need to hold onto and will willingly sacrifice in furtherence of my dope consumption quest.
Indeed, the only fetter is when the end is in sight. Only then will I retrain myself. But not out of some noble understanding. But only because my very survival is threatened by the consequences of having nothing at all. I am very conscious about my self-preservation in this regard. In fact, it haunts me daily.
And thus I am forever calculating the sufficiency of my reserves. I ask myself, “do I have enough dope stored away to survive if I can’t obtain anymore”. And so long as the answer is “yes!” I willingly get as much dope as I can get. And I don’t save any of it. I consume it all. Day after day, stretches into month after months, then year upon year, I stretch out this settin sun, which I and every junkie, ekks out our existence as, whilst throwing shadows into our lives.
Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment