JUNKe Life

Restless night…
May 3, 2008, 10:02 am
Filed under: JUNKe life

It is funny how wimpy we can get. Here I am complaining about a restless night when in comparison to complete cold turkey my comfort level last night was heavenly.

I guess I’m still pissed about the short count of the methadone I’m using for this taper. Each bottle is supposed to have 100 mgs in it. But I have not idea what the actual amount is.

I think 5 drinks 80 mgs over the first five days should be sufficient to carry me quite painlessly though a full week of not using any morphine. By the end of that week, I will have withdrawn from the morphine, but I won’t have taken enough methadone over enough days to become dependent upon it. Thus, I won’t have a habit to either morphine or methadone after this taper.

But what am I actually getting when I drink 4/5 of a bottle. It should be 80 mgs but in actuality it might be only 40 because I know it is watered down and not full strength.

I don’t want to take more that 80 because I want to make sure I limit my total methadone dosing. But I want to take damn near that so that this taper is painless or as comfortable as possible. Damn! I am pissed about this guessing game as to what amount is actually in the dose I’m drinking.

methadone discard


Anyhow… before going to bed last night around 11 pm I drank another 25 mgs. Remember methadone has a long half life so it is cumulative in its effect. One dose adds to the previous dose since it hasn’t worn off yet. That’s why small drinks do end up contributing to a higher baseline of actual methadone level working at any one time.

Then, this morning at 10 am I drank anywhere from 40-80 mgs. I was feeling way less comfortable than I should have this morning – thus reinforcing my belief that the stuff is well-watered down. If I really had had 150 mgs the previous day I should have felt no discomfort this morning and I should of had a very comfortable sleep. But that wasn’t what I experienced. Leading me to think I probably had about half that amount – say 75-80 mgs. That’s the minimum I need to stave off true discomfort.

So this morning I had a good dose. It will add onto the 6 pm and 11 pm doses of last night. That should carry me ok right through today. And then I’ll try another 40-80 mgs right before bed tonight.

It’s now been a couple hours since I dosed this morning and it has taken away the discomfort I had been experiencing through the night.

7 Comments so far
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dude, i feel you on this. i do have to suggest (as a long-time chronic opioid user on my second methadone maintenance run – this time two and a half years into it) that you try at least a 21 day methadone detox. email me if you’d like to talk – or if you ever just need some emotional support. it’s always a pleasure to meet other opioid addicts who are intelligent (and there are quite a few of us)

Comment by Jason

awww man its been almost 20 days since this article was published… i hope your ok, just got reading this stuff and its dam thought provoking, hope the taper isnt getting the best of you. good luck and all the best.

Comment by Scott

Hey! Thanks for both comments. Much appreciated.

I (or rather “we”) continued on with that taper as follows:

May 1 11 pm last morphine fix 150 mgs / day’s total 700 mgs morphine

Start of Taper

Methadone On Hand: 11 bottles of 100mg

May 2
10 am 40-80 mg methadone
4 pm 25 mgs
9 pm 25 – 40 mgs

days total: max 150 min 100

May 3
9 am 50-80 mgs
9 pm 25-50 mgs

day’s total: max 130 min 75

May 4
9 am 30-50 mgs
7 pm 30-40 mgs

day’s total: max 90 min 60

Sub-totals after 1st 3 days: max = 370 min = 235

– as of May 4 11 pm (72 hours since last fix) I feel completely fine

May 5
9 am 50 mgs
5 pm 50 mgs

May 6
8 am 50 mgs
6 pm 75 mgs MORPHINE (3 statex 25mg)

May 7
9 am 75 mgs MORPHINE
1 pm 90 mgs MORPHINE
7 pm 90 mgs MORPHINE

And so… this taper did not finish as intended – too say the least.

A significant life event intervened which made us feel we needed to discontinue the taper and return to regular using. Even if we had completed the taper we still would have felt pretty darn sluggish for a week following, likely wouldn’t have slept very well, and would of experienced periodic chills and heat flashes. The life event we had to attend to was of such a nature that we really couldn’t manage it properly, nor deal with the people we knew we’d have to be associating with, if we were shaking it somewhat rough.

I just goes to show that you require a free calendar of roughly three weeks to devote to cessation. We began on May 2 and it turned out that beginning May 7 we were going to be in a situation where we just couldn’t afford to still be on a taper or dealing with the physical/emotional after effects.

Oh well, there’s always next time!

Speaking of a 21 methadone taper, I’ve never tried it. I’ve only done the week’s one (like I was doing this time) or I’ve been on full methadone maintenance three times with a clinic or private doctor.

The previous time I did methadone maintenance for four years and I adhered to “patient best practices” 100% – in other words, full compliance. No dirty piss tests, no hanging around with active users, etc. And it worked – very well. In fact, I stabilized for roughly 2 years at 100 mgs daily and then did a long, slow taper right (1 1/2 years of taper) right down to zero. And when it finally came to the day when I didn’t even take a 1 mg dose of methadone and I felt completely fine, wow! what a feeling of celebration and accomplishment. After so many years of daily using and then methadone maintenance the day finally arrived when I didn’t use anything.

I went for a couple years before I finally did some heroin with a friend. I didn’t intend to get wired again, but I did. Surprise, surprise, eh?

Comment by Opiated

I just have to say that I just watched the u-tube on Korsang in Cambodia, and was I ever impressed. The work that they are doing there for their fellow drug user’s is outstanding. I for one would like to commend them for all their hard work.
Ditto to you all!!!

Comment by Debbie

I like your blog it’s very thought provoking and full of interesting information. I had a few bags last night (uk) and use nearly always iv. I dont smoke now as the shit they put in it makes me sick and the first hit is so much better than smoking 20 lines! I was wondering as i see your a long term daily user if you could give me some advice. I have been using Heroin for about 8 years now, but i only ever use for 1 night every few weeks or nowdays weeekly or bi-weekly. If i have been using H for that long will this eventually lead to daily use? Or is my experience of being able to use it for 1 night only quite common among heroin users? I dont mean to sound dumb but i have no other friends who use heroin and i keep my use of it almost totally to myself.

Comment by gordon

“it’s always a pleasure to meet other opioid addicts who are intelligent (and there are quite a few of us)”

Less than when I first got started I’d say. Sadly Heroin is often a symptom of serious issues. I have been moved on to quarterly attendance becuse I am stable and maintained a 40ml.
Its a sad fact that when I got addicted most of the people in treatment were in for cough mixture.
(codeine linctus) at least in my hometown. Now of course its near impossible to get a decent supply of codeine and everyone’s strung out on smack. This is what happens when the government gets involved. I am 52 years old, and have seen a lot of changes over the years. We used to have a very liberal system in the UK but that has broken down. Forcing far more people onto the more powerful opiates. If they had any sense they would put codeine back on the market openly (you can still get it if you know a friendly pharmacist)But instaed they keep cutting the number of products that you can extract codeine from. stupidity but what can you do..

Comment by The Bishop

Here’s my

Comment by Micah Lee St. James III

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