Filed under: JUNKe life
It is funny how wimpy we can get. Here I am complaining about a restless night when in comparison to complete cold turkey my comfort level last night was heavenly.
I guess I’m still pissed about the short count of the methadone I’m using for this taper. Each bottle is supposed to have 100 mgs in it. But I have not idea what the actual amount is.
I think 5 drinks 80 mgs over the first five days should be sufficient to carry me quite painlessly though a full week of not using any morphine. By the end of that week, I will have withdrawn from the morphine, but I won’t have taken enough methadone over enough days to become dependent upon it. Thus, I won’t have a habit to either morphine or methadone after this taper.
But what am I actually getting when I drink 4/5 of a bottle. It should be 80 mgs but in actuality it might be only 40 because I know it is watered down and not full strength.
I don’t want to take more that 80 because I want to make sure I limit my total methadone dosing. But I want to take damn near that so that this taper is painless or as comfortable as possible. Damn! I am pissed about this guessing game as to what amount is actually in the dose I’m drinking.
Anyhow… before going to bed last night around 11 pm I drank another 25 mgs. Remember methadone has a long half life so it is cumulative in its effect. One dose adds to the previous dose since it hasn’t worn off yet. That’s why small drinks do end up contributing to a higher baseline of actual methadone level working at any one time.
Then, this morning at 10 am I drank anywhere from 40-80 mgs. I was feeling way less comfortable than I should have this morning – thus reinforcing my belief that the stuff is well-watered down. If I really had had 150 mgs the previous day I should have felt no discomfort this morning and I should of had a very comfortable sleep. But that wasn’t what I experienced. Leading me to think I probably had about half that amount – say 75-80 mgs. That’s the minimum I need to stave off true discomfort.
So this morning I had a good dose. It will add onto the 6 pm and 11 pm doses of last night. That should carry me ok right through today. And then I’ll try another 40-80 mgs right before bed tonight.
It’s now been a couple hours since I dosed this morning and it has taken away the discomfort I had been experiencing through the night.
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