JUNKe Life


Accumulated Fortune Cookie Wisdom…
July 1, 2008, 2:52 am
Filed under: Stuff

For years I’ve been saving the little piece of paper with the witty fortune printed on it from every fortune cookie I’ve been served in umpteen zillion Chinese restaurants all over Fortress North America. I generally try to eat at “real” Chinese restaurants, and surprise! surprise! most “real” Chinese restaurants don’t give little fortune cookies in plastic packaging with a paper “fortune” within. Most “real” Chinese restaurants have almond cookies instead, and you’ve gotta pay for an almond cookie.

Unfortunately there are just too many Americanized Chinese restaurants, and therefore, I’ve managed to accumulate quick a collection of fortunes over the years (alas, I’ve likely lost a couple dozen fortunes that have been crinkled up in my pants pocket and gone through the wash). Usually when I get a fortune cookie, I crack it open, withdraw the fortune, and then carefully place it within my wallet after I’ve read it. But there are those rare occasions when I eat Chinese and I don’t happen to have my wallet with me, and its those poor fortunes which have gone through the rinse cycle.

I keep all my fortunes in a little African pouch that is made of some thatched straw with a simple black and white African weaved design; or maybe it is more aptly a small straw case with a straw lid? Regardless, I hang it on my bookshelf and every time I come home with another fortune, I take it down, carefully open it, and place the new fortune inside. I’ve been doing this for some 16 years now; it would surely have been longer, but that’s when I last got out of prison and I didn’t collect many fortunes while locked down.

Tonight, for the first time I dumped all the fortunes out of the pouch. It made quite a little pile (the density of accumulated fortunes isn’t really visible in the picture). There really are a lot of little scraps of paper with a little fortune upon it. All these years I’ve been intending to do something with them. Possibly make a collage, or some such work of art. Maybe this (blogging about them) is what I’ve been saving them for? Actually that can’t be because there wasn’t such a thing as blogging when I first started saving them. Besides blogging, I suppose I could create one of those weird fortune cookie sites or maybe I could take a picture of everyone of my fortunes and create a lovely slide show?

I figured I’ve pick myself a fortune for today. So I closed my eyes and picked out a fortune. Nothing all too enlightening. My life won’t change much (I did 600 mg morphine yesterday, and today, and probably will do so tomorrow as well – yep! I’m completely wired again) but it was fun. And Zippy says “Fun is good” right? (wrong! he asked “are we having fun yet?”). Speaking of fun fortune generated fun – why the hell am I speaking of fun anyhow? Oh yeah, it was fun picking out my fortune…

Ah, of course, I’m just joking. That isn’t the fortune I picked today. This is…

Ah ha, joking again. To tell ya the truth, here’s my fortune for today (about time, eh?)…


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